Still Pregnant

What else is there to say? Doesn't the little bugger know that 19 is a very good number??? My body tricked me this morning when these hard contractions woke me up. It's a very strange thing to be anxiously awaiting pain! All through the breathing, I was hoping, hoping, hoping that today would be the day. Nope. I did, however, ask my subs to take over my classes. I need to not worry about school right now. Of course, I also need to worry about the job market. Sigh.

I hope to have good news soon, my friends.

Waiting Game Stats

• 3 job applications out
• 0 baby arrived
• 4 days overdue
• 2 friends of friends given birth on or since my due date
• 2 feet of unusual size
• 2 medical practitioners telling me to be very careful about what I eat because I wouldn't want the baby to get huge while I'm overdue
• not anywhere near enough contractions
• not 1, but 2 giant stacks of paper to grade not to mention the little stacks that students would really like to get back asap
  
• 1 grumpy absent-minded pregnant lady who feels like a pink hippopotamus: you know, sorta cute, but in an ungainly dorky way
  

Not Loralei Lee, But the Real Marilyn! (Oh Norma Jean!)

It's a bit scary how accurate this is, though maybe I'm just tired and feeling especially vulnerable. As seen at Maude's place:

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz ...

You Are a Marilyn!

You are a Marilyn -- "I am affectionate and skeptical."

Marilyns are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

How to Get Along with Me

• Be direct and clear
• Listen to me carefully
• Don't judge me for my anxiety
• Work things through with me
• Reassure me that everything is OK between us
• Laugh and make jokes with me
• Gently push me toward new experiences
• Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

What I Like About Being a Marilyn

• being committed and faithful to family and friends
• being responsible and hardworking
• being compassionate toward others
• having intellect and wit
• being a nonconformist
• confronting danger bravely
• being direct and assertive

What's Hard About Being a Marilyn

• the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
• procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
• fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of
• exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger
• wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right
• being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations

Marilyns as Children Often

• are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn
• are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger
• form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent
• look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel
• are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent

Marilyns as Parents

• are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty
• are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence
• worry more than most that their children will get hurt
• sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries

Still Here, Still Pregnant, Still with Elephant Feet

I know I should be updating the world -- especially about how I have these fabulous friends in Grad City who totally surprised me by loading two boxes full of stuff that I then got to open at my shower, some 1,800 miles away. They are so sweet. As is One Tired Ema, who sent me a wonderful package as well. I, however, am not sweet. I am big and pregnant and grumpy. I am sick of myself and of being the hugest person alive. I just sent Absurdist Lover for chocolate -- no better direction than that. I don't know what I hope he'll bring back really, except that it should be chocolate and there should be a lot of it. According to the midwife, I'm due a week from today and look like I will go to term. I'm also uninducable at this point, at least as of Wednesday. I get non-stress tests all the time now and checked every five or so days. I'm ready to be done. I also spent a big part of the day in Grading Jail. Waaaaaaa. I'm just too grumpy to post right now. Did I mention that I'm also preparing job materials? Teaching two classes of unmotivated students who think they are still in high school? See why I don't post more often? I hope I'll have something nicer to say soon. Until then, I should probably only talk to the two people who can deal with me right now. Absurdist Lover will soon lose his patience. And I can't blame him. I'm awful.

Sock Silliness

As seen over at Hilaire's:

What Your Socks Say About You

You Are: - Simply outstanding - Brave to the core - A person of depth - Infinitely wise

The Socks Personality Test

Baby Shower/Online Meet-Up

So my baby shower in Urban Home City is this Saturday, to which only a scant few friends will be able to attend because they/you are strewn all over the country. So I was thinking on Sunday about having some kind of online meet-up, not just to celebrate the soon-to-be-arriving baby or my last days of pregnancy (37 weeks!), but just to connect. It will be good for my brain and mood, especially since my pregnancy has gotten complicated (definite mild preeclampsia, people -- my right foot especially seems to have its own elephantitis -- why my left foot seems to drain a bit when I put it up and my right foot doesn't? a mystery. plus, I have a cold!!!). So here's the question for all you smart bloggerandonline folk: would it be better to go ahead and meet up on this here blog, crazymedusa style, or to get a private chat room? If we did it here, I could mix my blogger and real life friends, which might be fun. But of course, comments are maybe not a good replacement for running chat. Hmmm. See why I need your wisdom? It's this pregnancy brain. What say you, oh wise internetsmartfolk?

First-Year College Students

Inspired by Kate's recent post on gender and students, I found I basically usurped her comments. But I keep thinking that there are all these issues about teaching, scholarship, and service that I want to address -- and where better than my blog?! (Certainly better than going nuts on someone's comments!) So here goes.

Fundamentally, I can't forget that traditional-age first-year students are straight from high school -- some of those high schools were public, some private. Some students had great preparations, some not so much. But one issue that I've had to address with my community college students this week is that I'm not a high school teacher: I will not chase them around for their assignments if they don't turn them in. It's just as easy to fill in zero on my spreadsheet as anything else. If they need help beyond what I can give, there are plenty of resources on campuses designed with their needs in mind, and it's not my job to go ahead and fill in every blank they have. I've had to give several students in one class and more than half in the other my come-to-Jesus speech (I know this is offensive, but I can't think of a better way to say it right now) about getting their assignments done: if they're not able to keep up now, they should just drop. Period. Some students are really not ready to be in college or are in college for reasons other than learning (though I didn't say that). I don't care about turning all my students into great students. They have to come halfway to meet the challenge, which often includes actually having to approach me and ask me for specific help if they need it; if they flake out on that, well, that's too bad for them. (There are shy students in the world, and I try to be as approachable as possible, but there's a limit.)

So why am I so harsh? Well, actually it's because I realize that my students at least are used to looking at their teacher as a surrogate parent, someone they are going to test the boundaries with. Because I really believe that part of my job is to help them make the transition to more self-determined, agency-filled young adults, I believe I do them a disservice if I hold their hands too much and if I give in too much. If they need additional resources to help them with my class, I'm happy to point them in the right direction. I do think long and hard about whether my class is fulfilling what they need, but I also realize that different students need different things -- and I don't worry too much that I'm in the wrong, at least not in front of them. I will spend long hours in office hours at times with certain students. But I don't waste my time over the ones who are just whingers or complainers. The complainers and ones who aren't turning in their assignments need tough love. Period. The whingers probably need to panic anyway. I'm happy to answer their questions and talk with them and everything. But I don't assume that all the panic is about me -- they are making a huge transition in their lives and the first semester is all panic anyway. And if you think about it, they should be panicking. After a lifetime, for many of them, of people holding their hand and coaching them through and helping them figure things out, now they are mostly on their own. Who wouldn't panic?

So this is my sermon on why I feel tough love is often the appropriate response to students. I'll put away the soapbox now. Have a great Saturday!