Friday, November 14, 2008

Some Notes from this Time in My Life

I'm exhausted. 3 weeks of maternity leave is not enough. Dear reader, don't ever do this. Especially don't do this when you're recovering from a c-section. I feel okay from the c-section, if a bit alienated from my body since there is a whole area that is still numbish. But with the baby, I have no time to get anything done -- and though I have to work because the money (and still I have no idea where next month's rent is going to come from), I have to say I really do resent anything standing in the way of me being there for the baby. For sure, I don't feel like I'm doing anything well -- not the two classes I'm teaching, not the books I'm supposed to be keeping for the office, not the job market, not being a good mom. There's so much on the mom front that I want to talk about -- but since this is the first time in weeks I've even been able to steal away from all the other stuff, this is the best I can do. I'm learning to say "sorry, this is the best I can do" a lot.

Absurdist Baby eats all the time. All the time. He's getting these super-fat cheeks.

I've found that having a baby has refocused me. My priorities have shifted, though sometimes it takes me being at wit's end to remember that AB is more important than anything -- and I have to just let other things -- application deadlines, for example -- go.

I know I haven't bought anything for myself in a long time. But I can't imagine what I would get for myself. All I want is to know that my little family will not end up on the street. I'd like to be able to provide a roof over our heads. Pay my bills. Take Mr. Tabby to the vet. I hope Santa and all of heaven's angels are listening.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Oh Calliope, Sit with Me a While

What a wonderful idea for a quizzy! As seen at Hilaire's.

Your result for The A-Muse-ing Test...

Your muse is Calliope!

40% Calliope, 10% Thalia, 0% Urania, 0% Clio, 10% Erato, 10% Euterpe, 10% Melpomene, 10% Polyhymnia and 10% Terpsichore!

Calliope is the oldest and wisest of the muses. She is called "The One of Beautiful Speech." Calliope is the muse of epic or heroic poetry and may have been the very one that inspired Homer when he wrote the Illiad and the Odyessy.

Allow Calliope to inspire you.

Begin by trying out different rhyme schemes, to see what you like best. Find a safe comfortable place to work where you will not be disturbed. Bring a candle, some paper, and pens or pencils. Ask Calliope to come and sit with you for a while. Then light your candle for your fire of inspiration. Relax and let your mind go. Put your pen to the paper and just let things go. You may be surprised to see what you come up with as you allow your inner thoughts to take form on paper.

Don't be discouraged if it doesn't come easily the first time. Sometimes the best things come with persistence and patience.

Take The A-Muse-ing Test at HelloQuizzy