I'm sorry, everyone, for being the worst blogger ever. It's been bedlam. First it took me forever to finish grading -- I was so behind and behind and behind -- then Absurdist Lover got a full-time job so I went on full-time baby duty, which meant that on good days I got a shower and on bad days I didn't even get to eat.
I've been lucky even with this horrendously bad job market (probably search committees realize that I am the type to drive myself crazy staying up all night after overcommitting myself instead of being a sane balanced person who knows how to say no) and had a couple of phone interviews. Today, we're going to MLA for in-person interviews. Traveling with baby? Oy gevalt. Wish us luck. Last night, Absurdist Baby was completely inconsolable for the first time. Wailing, he refused my breast, fell asleep to a bottle of formula, then woke up and wailed again, ate again, wailed again. He finally accepted my breast again and slept, but it was awful to hear him cry the piercing cry, the one that I can usually stem by breastfeeding him. He's only two months! He's not allowed to wean himself, especially when I want him to have breastmilk antibodies for two years. (That's a lot of pumping.)
I'm nervous about these interviews -- I have a good number of them and I saw that even today an interesting job in my field was posted -- but it feels like we have so much on the line. We're really just waiting, struggling along the best we can here in Overpriced Urban Home City, until next fall when I hope I'll be chugging down the tenure track. But I'm a dork in interviews. And the only way we make it now is by assuming that everything will be different in the fall. Gulp.