Hi there. If you want a dignified post about life in academia, leave here now. If you want chipperish happy spring and egg day, keep on clicking. I am a Dissertating Beast. I do not do chipper. I don't celebrate Easter. I don't have chocolate and the people out there were mean and I don't want to go out there again to get said chocolate even though a Cadbury Cream Egg is probably exactly the right level of sugar and goo for me right now.
I woke up all early and chipperish. Mr. Tabby did his silly cute thing where he hid completely under the covers next to me. Then I got up and read some blogs and, due to reliving my childhood via Center of Gravitas, I was in a fine mood pretending I was Wonder Woman. I honestly have no idea what happened to turn me back into the bitch that I am now. Yes, some people were making rude gestures at me when I was in my car and didn't see that they were waiting for me to back out of my spot. But it must've started before then. There's something about sitting in that big green familiar chair at the Caffeine Corporation and working on Big D that is making me loony. My energy just drops. I end up curling myself into a mock-fetal position. In public. What little sense of decorum I have has evaporated. Whatever else I once was has burned away.
WSF and I spent the last hour organizing my life (which means work schedule) via silliness with the Google calendar. He would write things like kick that bitch out the door. Rude? Yes. Even a bit on the misogynist side? Absolutely. I don't care. I totally miss him and I totally do not want to work on this piece of shit anymore and a few minutes ago I was almost teary and I think that having a temper tantrum on the bed, complete with wailing and flailing limbs may be what's called for -- just so I can get it all out of the way so I can, alas, get needed work done. But frankly, I don't have the energy for such things. I'm sapped.
I need to fix up a draft of Chapter 4 by Tuesday, which means half today and half tomorrow. Which would be completely doable if I could actually feel good and motivated instead of like a whining fucked up mess. I'm considering lying down for a while and moaning. See how long it takes me to get bored of it.
If you made it this far, I sincerely thank you. Either you've written a dissertation before, you're impossibly supportive and kind, or you're masochistic. I don't want to be around me right now.