Thursday, April 26, 2007

RBoC Thursday

  • Sleep is a good thing. But staying up half the night watching gripping movies is better. The Good Shepherd. Ohmigod. What a movie. Perfect for Englishy types who appreciate ambiguity and coded language. This is not a movie that explains itself. I was also on the edge of my seat for all seemingly ten hours. The other half of the night I stayed up reading about poet-spy James Jesus Angleton. At Yale, he published a journal in which TS Eliot, WC Williams, and Ezra Pound appeared. Then he goes off to the OSS; in England his former English professor is in intelligence. There's a point in the movie where Edward Wilson (partly based on Angleton) says that he's a poetry student and not political. But look at these scholar-spies. English is a discipline to be reckoned with! It must be because we're so intense and earnest!
  • Had totally wretched dreams. When SO called this morning, I was so tired and traumatized by my own addled imagination, I thought instantly something terrible had happened. No. Thank goodness.
  • I'm a freak. See bullets above.
  • When I finally decided that I couldn't read all there was to know about scholarly Englishy types in counterintelligence (must be all that close reading!) in a couple hours, I went to bed and decided I would write out why I was so despairing about revising the diss. Important note to self: car rides are vital to productive thinking and imagining. (Took drive to Nearest Urban-Feeling City to take WPF to airport.) Important note to self 2: when in doubt, write through despair. Of course I came up with a way of thinking about the problem chapter that made an organization sort of fall into place in my head. Why didn't I write before? You'd think after a zillion notebooks and journals filled with my scrawls and whines, I'd have figured out that writing was a really productive way for me to think. Apparently, I'm very forgetful and dumb.
  • Meeting with Peppy Advisor today. Also last tutoring hours. Also must respond to projects by end of week.
  • Did I mention that Witty Sardonic Friend is back?????!!!!!!!!!!! Which is of course why after the long day that was (ha!) Wednesday, I had to go over to his house and watch said movie and chat.
  • Am so tired with that jittery feeling of lack of sleep.
  • Am also clearly procrastinating getting myself off when I have PA meeting about diss in an hour and must caffeinate.
  • Am supposed to go to movie after work hours with blog-goddess and co-conspirator Maude Lebowski. Can't even imagine it. Can't happen.
  • I must've forgotten. Did I already say I was a freak?


Nik said...

Perhaps if we wrote down to remember to write, we'd remember to write, and thus, think. But we don't. So there's little writing and even less thinking. Perhaps the posting of the writing will remind us of the thinking that may ensue thanks to the writing.

Earnest English said...

Nik, again today I experienced the wonder of writing through the despair and grumpiness coming up with ideas for upcoming conference deadlines. Must go out and buy new notebook for daily writing. Can you believe a writer has to say this to herself??? OY!