Thursday, February 18, 2010

First Step

There have been all sorts of things going on -- I got some needed work done today, AT has started crying when we leave him at daycare (and I'm trying to figure out whether that's significant or it just goes with the clingy phase he's in at the moment), it turns out we can't stay with my folks for my sister's wedding which has brought up a bunch of anger and resentment in me, but underneath all of that is just plain feeling hurt for not being seen or understood by my family as well as epiphanies about the uses of anger in my life -- but after a very work-focused day, I just want to share the cool thing that is coming up, the thing that has Absurdist Lover and me really excited: we joined a CSA! Instead of paying for our weekly share of the harvest, I'll be working at the farm! We're so excited to be connecting with people in this way, since we have no sense of community here. (It seems that very few faculty members at my university are my age or have lives like mine. Other than that, it can be hard to meet people. I've poked around a little for playgroups, but the one close by us here is for stay-at-home moms, which is obviously not me. And I'm not a very good joiner anyway.) The CSA share people will have get-togethers -- and of course the workers too. We're very curious about the other people who have invested in this organic farm! We'll find people like us, maybe! I'll have my hands in the dirt one day a week. I'll learn how to be a better gardener. I'll get some much needed exercise and take in big breaths of good clean air. AL is a huge Star Wars (the originals, thank you very much) fan so he often quotes "you've taken your first step into a larger world" but this time I think it's true.

Have I mentioned recently that when I took one of the tests on one's various interests back in high school career guidance, my top field was not writing or art (like I wanted), but agriculture? Maybe I'll catch up with a different self in those fields. Maybe I'll find out how hard it is to work for one's food. I'm excited!

3 comments:

Anastasia said...

how cool about the csa! I've wanted to do that but we can't afford it. Working at the farm would overcome that problem, I guess. Very cool. Good for you.

And my sympathies on your family. It sucks when your family doesn't get who you are or value it.

Horace said...

That's totally awesome that the CSA lets you work for the food. We just joined one this year for the first time, but I don't think they have this arrangement available. I hope it is as rewarding as it sounds.

(Oh, and about AT's clingy phase, and the separation tears at daycare: my experience is that those come and go, and by establishing a clear morning routine--like waving out the window as you go--you teach the wee one, among other things, that you always come back.)

pocha said...

Sorry about the family issues! I have been dealing with a non-immediately family related drama for a few weeks now. I think it's awesome that you were/are able to redirect the focus to work and getting things done.

I am so looking into the CSA thing.

And, yes, the daycare drama is a phase. Bump loves school, but was totally afraid at first.