Saturday, May 5, 2007

Cinco de Grumpiness

Okay, really more like the 420th day of Grumpiness (my calculation starts around the time I went ABD, which was March 1, 2006). Here I am, in a neighborhood coffeehouse with the poor much-beleaguered SO. What do I need to do? Work on Chapter 2. This chapter has been drifting from one argument to another -- and I. don't. like. it.

I'm a terrible grump. And I have terrible insomnia, only able to sleep for four or so hours at a time. With a headache most of the time. (I'm turning into my grandmother, who, when asked the obligatory "How are you?" would answer with a litany of complaints starting with how bad her arthritis was that day.) And poor SO can't help but mutter and then I snark (yes, a verb) at him.

However, I did go dancing last night. (Am totally out of shape with a dissertating ass and am sore now.) And I saw my adorable student who I have totally been pretentious to! But, god forgive me, when I saw him (I gave an incomplete last semester), the first thing that fell out of my mouth was that I didn't get the project that he told me he'd get to me on May 1. Is it a wonder that he did not dance crazy techno with me but avoided me like the plague? I suck. I really just wanted to read the project because it sounded cool. I should send him an apology.

Scary party tomorrow. Whole department invited. Warning: If anyone asks me how my dissertation is going, I may have to kill them. The first person who asks me if I'm going to graduate in August is going to be strung up and wacked until candy spills out of them. I wonder if they'll let me blog from prison. At least then no one will give me shit if I wear the same thing day after day.

Today is my day of rest between two wild days. I mean, day of work. With SO here, I just want to laze around.

This is the most boring blogpost ever. Sorry guys. Same shit, different day. Which means I need to read again important dissertation wisdom 1 and 2.

***Update 6:54pm***

I don't know what happens, but I'm thankful for when the fog seems to lift from my eyes and I can actually reach my dissertation and work on it in a fruitful way. SO and I are still in this coffeehouse. He is writing. I am looking through the rain-speckled window. I don't know why it has to be so hard. I wish I could just sit down and get to work. But finding a new organization for a chapter is hard. And this chapter is no picnic. The next chapter should be relatively easy. And then there's the evil chapter that needs to be completely rewritten. All due in oh god 10 days to my readers? Which means, of course, that I would like to get the chapters to Peppy Advisor a little before that. But not much before that, I might add. I feel pretty decent. Which of course means I should not stop now, but set out exactly what I'm going to do tomorrow so that I can type it through the inevitable fog that will descend on me between now and then. OY!

1 comment:

Hilaire said...

You can *so* do this. YOu are *so close. Press on. Imagine freedom!