So I'm at a local coffeehouse again. I'm here to work on Chapter 4. A good one-third of it needs to be totally revised. Radically revised, because I think my message is getting drowned out -- and of course in reading it over again, I see there are all these great points that are sort of buried in it. Have I even opened the e-file? No. But I have written all over the paper copy and gone back and read some source materials. That's something, isn't it? I had wanted to pound out the whole revision today, because tomorrow WSF needs me to help clean his almost empty apartment. (So sad.) But I'm totally down and almost full of hate. I wanted to begin a new health regimen, but may have to have a caramel mocha to spur me on. After this revision, the whole thing will be with my readers -- and good riddance!
I don't want to work. I don't want to do anything. I'm sad because I got a rejection in the mail today. (PSA: Do not check mail before working.) The letter from the editor was somewhat helpful, pointing out a (ultimately probably helpful, but initially totally spirit-crushing) critique. Well, I guess I'm a wimp who can only take one critique at a time. I feel like moping like a sad dog. I'm totally ridiculous. But I'm in mourning for the possibility of that journal publication and the deep critique of the work. Oh well.
I need to WORK! How do I get myself into working? Clearly, a caramel mocha must be had. It's just not possible to work without it. One cannot dissertate and diet at the same time; it's just mean to one's writing self. The writing self needs chocolate, sugar, caffeine, and whipped cream. I mean, what's a writer to do? I need to harness the writing self, and she has needs. So there's that rationalization out of the way. (See how productive I am?!) Then what? Well, I should probably go back to either free-writing what I'm kind of thinking about as a rewrite. (That's what it is: a re-write. I have to find a new way in. A new frame. It must be done. It will be so much better than what is there now. I know it.) And then I should go back into the source material and copy out all the quotes that seemed so perfect a couple hours ago and then write from them. I hope that with the original, a free-write, and a bib-ish focus on quotes, I'll then only have to string the damn thing together and edit it. I've already worked -- what? 1-1/2 hours. Sigh. I'll stay here long enough to drink a caramel mocha (of course), do the free-writing and working with source materials. Then it'll probably be time to take yet another nap. I think I'll go home for the nap. As Bridget Jones says, good plan.