RBoC Thursday

• Sleep is a good thing. But staying up half the night watching gripping movies is better. The Good Shepherd. Ohmigod. What a movie. Perfect for Englishy types who appreciate ambiguity and coded language. This is not a movie that explains itself. I was also on the edge of my seat for all seemingly ten hours. The other half of the night I stayed up reading about poet-spy James Jesus Angleton. At Yale, he published a journal in which TS Eliot, WC Williams, and Ezra Pound appeared. Then he goes off to the OSS; in England his former English professor is in intelligence. There's a point in the movie where Edward Wilson (partly based on Angleton) says that he's a poetry student and not political. But look at these scholar-spies. English is a discipline to be reckoned with! It must be because we're so intense and earnest!
• Had totally wretched dreams. When SO called this morning, I was so tired and traumatized by my own addled imagination, I thought instantly something terrible had happened. No. Thank goodness.
  
• I'm a freak. See bullets above.
• When I finally decided that I couldn't read all there was to know about scholarly Englishy types in counterintelligence (must be all that close reading!) in a couple hours, I went to bed and decided I would write out why I was so despairing about revising the diss. Important note to self: car rides are vital to productive thinking and imagining. (Took drive to Nearest Urban-Feeling City to take WPF to airport.) Important note to self 2: when in doubt, write through despair. Of course I came up with a way of thinking about the problem chapter that made an organization sort of fall into place in my head. Why didn't I write before? You'd think after a zillion notebooks and journals filled with my scrawls and whines, I'd have figured out that writing was a really productive way for me to think. Apparently, I'm very forgetful and dumb.
• Meeting with Peppy Advisor today. Also last tutoring hours. Also must respond to projects by end of week.
• Did I mention that Witty Sardonic Friend is back?????!!!!!!!!!!! Which is of course why after the long day that was (ha!) Wednesday, I had to go over to his house and watch said movie and chat.
• Am so tired with that jittery feeling of lack of sleep.
• Am also clearly procrastinating getting myself off when I have PA meeting about diss in an hour and must caffeinate.
• Am supposed to go to movie after work hours with blog-goddess and co-conspirator Maude Lebowski. Can't even imagine it. Can't happen.
  
• I must've forgotten. Did I already say I was a freak?